Friday, September 07, 2007

bagutbot sa isa ka inahan

*title by isatabs - who i talked to this morning and poured everything to her. hehe.

who has nanny problems? my son have had 7 nannies already. First one had found a much better paying job so she chose it there. 2nd was a f*cking flirt and now is my dad's other woman - i fired her ofcourse. 3rd one had again a better paying job and is now in manila. 4th was the 3rd one's sister who happens to be under age as was more conscious of how she looks like and even plays with the toys my son has more than my son - so I had to change her to someone older and more mature. So here comes the 5th - old and children all grown but when she went home, problems came - her husband was on the run coz her husband stole some pig from the neighbor so she couldn't return. 6th came - a young nanny but was very responsible both taking care of my son and here at home, but the only problem I had was she was always having a week off instead of the agreed 1 day DAY-off.. she had alot of reasons.. said her sister gave birth returned (8days later).. then said she'd redeem her phone because she pawned it (took her 3days) .. then her sister again was sick and returned a week later - I had to reprimand her because it wasn't what we agreed upon! and that's why I got a nanny so I could work better and she's ruining every schedule I have coz expecting her arrival.

Now this freaking last one is a psycho and i dunno what to call her pa! She's just a week old. Yesterday I had to stop my work and let her eat lunch while I feed my baby. I heard her keeping her plate so I asked if she was done eating coz I'll have to eat and work back, she said she wasn't and was almost done.. a few SECONDS later I hear the gate open so I looked, I saw her going out and was wondering why, so I called for her and asked where she'd go coz she said she just said she wasn't done eating yet - she said she was going to buy conditioner. I asked her again "Conditioner?! thought you were done taking a bath?" - and then she left! and until now hasn't returned! Her stuffs are still here.. she didn't bring anything along with her but her money cguro.. I had to ask my mom to tell the people who recommended her about what she did, coz it's just so bastos. I haven't even eaten lunch, tapos xa tapos na?

Before she left pala, she asked if she could go out sa mall and all - i told her sa dayoff na nya, coz that's what normal nanny's do ofcourse.. then she continued eating.. then this freakin thing happened.

I really said to myself that IF she'll come back pickup her things, I won't let her in! I will ask her where her other things are and i'll let her pack outside. I am really pissed..Maybe I'm just to kind to them and that's why they're abusing me? I don't wanna be the strict type coz they might not open to me or something.

Isa tells me this is a normal process of finding a much better one out there. My bestfriend told me too, that her mom too had this problem before.. that her nanny (who's still their nanny now) arrived when she was already 3 years old!

I'm just so tired .. Some of them were too attached to my son.. my son keeps looking for them.

Buti sana if my only problem is my son.. Pero hindi, I'm the family's breadwinner.. I feed 5 mouths, I pay the bills here at home, make sure to get food on the table each and everyday. And I have no regular job, only this online job of making websites. My boss is getting pissed along with me everytime I ask help from my family members and I don't get help - he says it's unfair that I work for the family and I don't get anything in return - he even said they'd take me and my son and adopt us nlng daw and leave my family so they'd understand how difficult it was for me to take care of everyone (kasi wala sila anak ng pinay wife nya and they love my son).. sometimes siguro, I'd get help, pero I have to really force them or even pay them to help me. It's not that I'm complaining, I love making my family happy - if possible, won't get anything just to see them smile, but atleast they'd help and sometimes think of me too.. My parents are supposed to be the one paying the bills and taking care of my sister and the food here but they're not.. They're taking care of their new other f*ckin relationships. And here I am volunteering for their supposed task and they're not helping me out? I don't want to get angry.. I'm so tired of it.. I have been praying to the Lord what I should do.. arguments with them doesn't work.. I want them to do the right things.. like what they preached to us before when they were still leaders of our church.. It's so much confusing and tiring..but thanks to my son, who's been giving me the strength to move on and thank God ofcourse for always being there for me and here my cries..

If only I could get clones of myself.. I'd make enough to pay my mom's debts - clean our names from those court cases.. or make our lives easier.. I could work to all the job openings out there for me so our problems get solved.. I'd get one ME for my son exclusively.. If you guys know what I mean.. But it never is possible. *sighs*

So there Is, I made a blog out of it na! I've let it all out.

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